Spring! It’s America’s favorite season. Cool mornings. Warm days. Aside from a dozen or so tornado watches and warnings, what’s not to love?
A poll by Home Depot found the top three spring-cleaning projects we’ve got planned are washing the windows, cleaning the grill, and getting our yard in order.
The same Home Depot survey said 2/3 of us are excited to get started. I guess I’m in the minority. I’m dreading it. Life is an ongoing process of accumulating stuff. Most BOOMers have garaged and stored a (literally) ton of stuff.
Still, the same poll found that 80% feel a sense of accomplishment, and 85% say it improves their mental health. Anticipating the project is killing mine!
79% of people polled were homeowners, so that might skew the results a bit. But according to the poll, here are the top three spring-cleaning projects we’re planning to tackle this year:
1. Washing the windows and window screens. You might Windex the insides more than once a year. But maybe not the outside glass. (I don’t do windows. I don’t care if anyone has a clear view inside my house. Isn’t that why drapes were invented?)
2. Cleaning the grill. Memorial Day in May is considered the start of “grilling season.” But 62% of people said they grill year-round, even in winter. I brush the grill surface regularly, but I read that metal brushes can shed strands that, if digested, can kill you. So, I hose it down, too, and the death toll from my backyard grilling remains zero!
3. Getting your yard in order. Everything from mowing and weeding to adding flowers and mulch. I work 60 hours a week so that I can pay someone to do that! Coming home to a freshly mowed lawn is good for my mental health. I used to do the week’s feed thing but now pay for that service, too. (Careful- some of these operations have contracts that can obligate you into the afterlife!)
I recently solicited listeners (NewsTalk 93.1FM) to share their spring cleaning adventures and heard some great stories. One listener, Janet, decided to spring-clean her laundry room. She never expected to uncover a sock conspiracy. As she moved the washer and dryer, she found a hidden stash of mismatched socks, enough to outfit a small football team. It turns out her cat had been collecting them for years, creating a treasure trove of lost footwear. Jane couldn’t stop laughing as she imagined her cat playing sock thief, and she spent the rest of the day pairing up long-lost socks.
A guy named Tom embarked on his spring cleaning mission, determined to declutter his attic, a place that hadn’t seen daylight in years. As he sifted through boxes, he stumbled upon an antique vase he couldn’t remember purchasing. It was beautifully crafted but had a peculiar odor. After some investigation, Tom realized it was his childhood science experiment gone wrong—a mixture of chemicals he’d forgotten about. The vase had become a home for a strange, moldy substance. Tom laughed at the absurdity and decided that some mysteries were better left unsolved.
Dust bunnies hide everywhere! Kathy’s spring cleaning took a turn for the hilarious when she discovered an army of these creatures under her bed. Armed with a vacuum cleaner and a broom, she decided to face the invaders head-on. As she swept under the bed, she inadvertently created a dust storm that sent her sneezing and scrambling for cover. Her dog, Max (a Golden retriever), thought it was a game and started chasing the airborne dust bunnies, turning the whole event into a chaotic comedy. Kathy couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Max triumphantly catching dust bunnies and parading around the room. See? Good for mental health!
How about the oven? I don’t buy Easy-Off; I look for Easy Out or a good excuse to do it another day. BOOMer Emily’s spring cleaning in the kitchen turned into a comedy of errors. While scrubbing the oven, she realized she had forgotten about a frozen pizza from months ago. The pizza had transformed into a rock-hard relic.
Determined to clean thoroughly, she tried to remove the pizza, but it wouldn’t budge. After some tugging and pulling, the pizza finally dislodged, sending Emily tumbling backward and knocking over a stack of pots and pans. The ensuing racket sounded like a marching band had crashed into her kitchen. She didn’t say if it improved her mental health, but she was laid up for a couple of days for violating the “No Somersaults after 65” rule!
Here’s some more stuff about stuff from the Home Depot survey.
- The average American says 34% of the junk they own is stuff they don’t really need or rarely use. But it depends on how you define the word “use.”
- 21% of it is stuff we don’t want but haven’t gotten rid of yet, 10% is other people’s stuff we somehow ended up with, and 13% is “pure junk.”
- But 27% is stuff we’re hanging onto for sentimental reasons. And 29% of them are collectibles or other items that “spark joy.” So that’s not really “junk.”
- The average person said they’d pay $1,300 to have all their unwanted junk magically disappear.
I’m offering $1400, and you can keep the change!
Greg Budell has lived in Montgomery for 20 years. A 50+ year veteran of radio, TV and writing, Greg hosts the Newstalk 93.1FM Morning Show with Rich Thomas, Susan Woody, and Jay Scott, 6-9 AM Monday – Friday. He returns weekday afternoons from 3-6 PM for Happy Hour with Pamela Dubuque and a variety of sidekicks. His favorite topic is life! Greg can be reached at gregbudell@aol.com.