The Leaf Blower Arms Race
You can always tell when fall arrives in the River Region because every man on the street suddenly believes he’s been called up for a special ops mission involving a leaf blower. One Saturday it’s quiet. The next Saturday it sounds like a helicopter landing...
The Fall Decorating Delusion
September in Alabama is when reasonable adults begin lying to themselves. The calendar says fall. The stores say fall. The candle aisle says fall so aggressively you can smell cinnamon from three aisles over. But outside, it’s still 94 degrees, the mosquitoes are still running...
Biscuits, Buses & Bleachers
August is when the neighborhood changes shifts. All summer long, the kids have been outside getting progressively more bored and more dangerous. By late July, a child with a scooter and no plan can do real damage. They’re cutting through yards, leaving flip-flops in driveways,...
The Road Trip Rebellion
There comes a point every summer when someone says, “We should all take a road trip.” And somehow, no one fakes a medical emergency. On paper, it sounds charming. Load up the van, hit the road, make memories. That is because “on paper” does not...
Summer Starts Early Around Here
You can always tell when summer is arriving in Alabama because the fireworks tents start showing up in random parking lots like invasive species. One day it’s an empty lot beside a gas station. The next day there’s a giant red, white, and blue tent...
The Graduation Circuit
There’s a certain time of year when your calendar starts filling up with events that all look the same—graduations, ceremonies, receptions, and invitations that somehow all land on the same two weekends. I call it the Graduation Circuit. You start getting the cards in the...
The Weight We Don’t Carry
I was sitting in traffic the other day—nothing major, just one of those slow crawls where nobody knows why we’re stopping, but everybody’s annoyed about it anyway. I glanced at the clock, did the mental math, and immediately decided I was now “running behind,” even...
Spring Cleaning My Soul (Against My Will)
There’s something about March that makes perfectly sane adults believe they are about to become organized people. The sun stays out a little longer. The birds start chirping like motivational speakers. And suddenly I’m standing in my garage holding a plastic tote labeled “Miscellaneous” from...
The Pressure of Love (and Other Overrated Things)
Let’s talk about February. The month of hearts, roses, and relationship expectations so high even Romeo and Juliet would’ve needed couples counseling. Valentine’s Day shows up like that overachieving PTA mom with personalized goodie bags and a themed photo backdrop, while the rest of us...
Happy New Year…I Think
You know what’s worse than holiday hangovers? The people who suddenly find religion on January 1st and start preaching the gospel of “Dry January.” Look, I get it — after all the rum cakes, spiked eggnog, and cranberry margaritas, a break sounds smart. But must...