I still remember sitting on the floor next to the cubbies in my classroom. It was silent reading time which was my favorite part of the day. The book (and the words) were perfectly sized for my elementary hands. Little did I know the lessons were bigger.
Do you remember the books by Arnold Lobel all about Frog and Toad? They were fairly plain and didn’t stand out. Muted green, brown, and gray artwork filled the page. It was so plain one could wonder how it was possibly interesting. But sometimes the simplest things are the most beautiful. (Sounds like something I picked up from Frog and Toad.)
Anyone who learned to read in the eighties and even the nineties likely saw these simple stories. Maybe they were opened on a school desk to decode words or maybe, like me, they were treasured in quiet corners. I loved these stories. The simplicity, the friendship, the lessons. It turns out these fairly plain amphibians were right about a lot of things.
Here are a few of my favorite lessons I still remember today:
Lesson 1: Hold your list loosely and be the person your friend deserves.
I love lists. They create order in the world that sometimes feels too chaotic for my Type A brain. I’m not always good at completing lists, but they make me happy just the same. The problem comes when I hold on too tight.
Toad gets it. He wrote a list of his own. He even included basic things just so he could have the pleasure of checking them off. Waking up, going to sleep and all the things in between made his list. Even things like eating meals and naps and time with his friend.
I like his lists. And he did, too. Until a breeze came. What happens when the list gets blown away in the wind of the day? I often wonder about that very thing.
The best part about Toad losing his list is what happens next. He has a friend, Frog, who tries to get it for him, and when that proves impossible, he just sits with Toad. He is the exact friend Toad needs. He doesn’t try to change Toad. He is just there with his friend.
We all need a friend like that. A friend that will be with us when life is giving us a beating when we don’t make any sense, and the only thing we can think to do is sit with our heads in our hands. Toad had that kind of friend in Frog. I want friends like that in my life, too. I’m learning that the best way to find one is to be one.
Lesson 2: Sometimes we have to wait in life. Books, music, and sleep make waiting so much easier.
In another story, we see Frog’s great friendship traits again. When Toad plants a garden he wants instant results. I can relate. And it’s not even about the garden. It’s about everything I do. When I discipline my kids, I want them to learn and move on. When I need to make dinner, I want to whip it up, clean it up, and move on. Sometimes I lack the patience life requires.
When Toad is trying to help his seeds grow, he does three things: reads, sings, and sleeps. We know that there is no magic formula to grow a garden, but sometimes in life, we need to pass the time. And when we are stressed and anxious, pushing for something to happen that is simply not ready, we would do well to read, sing, and sleep.
Even the hardest things look a lot better after we do.
Lesson 3: Enjoy the cookies with a friend. My favorite story has nothing to do with waiting or lists. It’s all about cookies. When Frog and Toad find themselves unable to stop eating cookies, they work together to develop willpower.
Each step of the way, they put an obstacle between them and the beloved cookies. And each time they find a way through the obstacle to eating yet another cookie.
I’ve eaten many a cookie with my best friend. We could find other things to do. We could avoid the cookies. We could still be friends without the cookies. But the truth is, friendship can be much more delicious with them.
They Had It Figured Out (Imperfectly)
Life isn’t going to be perfect. Frog and Toad remind us of that. But we can keep learning and growing. Especially when we have a good cookie!
Rebecca Hastings is a freelance writer and contributor to numerous publications in the U.S.